Is He/She the One – or Should I Run? Sliding versus Deciding

At some point you have to decide: “Is he/she the one, or should I run?!” This can happen any time in a relationship from very early on up to the day you get married. But for most couples it is a very real decision-point when they decide whether to move from dating to engaged (or at least “engaged to be engaged”).  Some couples seem to move fairly effortlessly from dating to the decision to get engaged and married, but for many couples this is an important, often nerve-racking, and scary deci...
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What If Things Aren’t Working Out? Final Words

  Contributed by Thomas B. Holman If things aren’t going well and you are doing all you can, don’t get overly discouraged and don’t let it weigh you down with doubt, discouragement, depression, and despair and giving up on eternal marriage or God’s commandments. Think of Nephi. In 2 Nephi 4 we see a very discouraged Nephi. He had just lost his beloved father. His brothers were again trying to kill him. He understood the plan of salvation as well as anyone in his day and certainly ...
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What If Things Aren’t Working Out? Change and the Principles of Faith and Repentance

  Contributed by Thomas B. Holman   In the last article we suggested some ways to change dating styles that aren’t working for you. But this can be difficult. Some things we need to change are very ingrained. Changing can make you feel vulnerable.  Many times changes are just not that easy to make. So it can seem easier to change not at all, or very little. But for many of us, major changes need to be made that indeed aren’t easy. If we don’t make them, we simply aren’t going to be...
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What If Things Aren’t Working Out? Dating Styles and Interest Cues

Contributed by Thomas B. Holman Dealing with Problematic Sending/Receiving Cues and Issues with your Dating Style The way to deal with how to send and receive appropriate interest cues or dating styles have some things in common. Here are several things you can consider doing to overcome them to jumpstart your dating life. Thoughtfully Evaluate Your Situation and Think about What You Can Do. You are your first source of change, and ultimately, you are where the change must happen even...
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What If Things Aren’t Working Out? Look at Your Dating Style

  Contributed by Thomas B. Holman, Natalie Gilbert, and Matthew Call  Understanding and Maybe Changing Your Dating Style Asking someone out for a date or making it clear you would accept a date if asked is easier if one has realistic and positive expectations and perceptions of themselves and of others. These feelings and expectations develop over time. When a person has a history of positive experiences with parents, peers, and others who are available and responsive to their need for clo...
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What If Things Aren’t Working Out? Look at Your Sending and Receiving of Interest Cues

  Contributed by Thomas B. Holman Things seldom work out as smoothly as we wrote about them in the last few articles. For example, someone you are attracted to ignores you. Maybe you have trouble even getting first dates. Or you have lots of first dates but few if any second or more dates with the same person. Perhaps you have problems going from “dates” to “in a relationship” or even if you get into boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, they don’t last. Part of this is just the normal ...
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