Miserably Ever After?

BY ADENA AND AMY [Editor’s note:  We’re all aware of the many tragic instances of husbands verbally abusing their wives, but this article relates how the wife can do the same.  Still, all the principles related here apply equally to husbands.] The other day at the store, I saw a husband miserably pushing a shopping cart behind his wife as she browsed; he occasionally picked out something, asking, “How about this one? This looks good.” Each time, his wife had a cutting remark: “Our kids...
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Strengthening Your Relationship with Regular “Couple Meetings”

We're more health-conscious than ever. Millions seek out a variety of health assessments, from simple blood pressure checks to a thorough analysis of blood chemistry. The result: America's health is better than ever. Not so for marriages. While divorce rates have declined somewhat in recent years, couples getting married today still have a 40% or better chance of divorcing. Marriage is more risky than mountain climbing, more risky than sky diving, even more risky than bungee jumping! "...
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Solving Your “Solvable Problems”

According to John Gottman, marital conflicts fall into just two categories: solvable and perpetual. Perpetual conflicts show up over and over. They probably will never disappear because they come from fundamental differences in personality: She wants to have a baby but he doesn't want children; he hates clutter but she's a pack-rat; she wants a religious home but he's an atheist. Every marriage has conflicts like these. As one psychologist said, when you choose a life partner "you will in...
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Moving from Gridlock to Dialogue

Do you feel hopelessly stuck over a problem you and your spouse just can't solve? If so, learning to cope with the conflict may seem impossible, and you might fear your relationship is doomed. But don't despair. Many couples learn to deal with their gridlocked problems and build happy, successful relationships. A key to dealing with a gridlocked problem is to remember you don't have to solve the problem. It might never go away completely. Your goal, according to John Gottman, is to move "...
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Handling Conflict in Marriage

Disagreements and arguments crop up in even the best marriages. It's how conflict is handled that is an important key to marital success. Current research confirms that poorly handled conflict between married couples can negatively influence mental, physical, and family health. Feelings of anger, bitterness, and unhappiness - sometimes leading to separation and divorce - often result. But couples need not settle for these experiences. Partners can realize, as stated in The Family: A Pr...
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How Can I Have a Happy Marriage?

by Susan H. “All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you do ye even so to them.” One year our entire family participated in a musical play which a man in our church was putting on.  My husband was an assistant to the producer; our eldest daughter, age 10, was a member of the family in the play; our sons ages 6 and 8 had little walk-on, non-speaking parts; our children ages 2 and 4 sat on the front row during rehearsals and performances sucking their thumbs and holding thei...
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