By Kimberlee F.
Being an Air Force wife, I don’t have much control when it comes to my future. I usually don’t know when, how, or where we are going next until right before it happens. I often feel my life is being held by a string as if I were a puppet, not knowing where the master’s hand will move me next, or even what he will move next. Things have a way of happening at the least of convenience. It has not been easy, by any means, but I have found a way to have joy and fulfillment in it.
I specifically remember dating my husband and telling him I did not see the military in my future. It was not the plan for me. At that time I had an aunt who had two kids, pregnant with her third, while her husband was starting his deployment in Iraq. I knew if I allowed the military to become a part of my life that this could become my very future: independent, alone, and full of many struggles. I could not and would not see why someone would choose this kind of life. I often thought, “There are plenty of other people to protect our country.” However, this selfish and naïve thought has since been removed.
One of the most fundamental principles I’ve been taught is that we have a Heavenly Father, who loves us, and has a specific plan for each of us. We know that we chose to come here, to this earth, and accepted His plans for us. In those plans, we knew there would be much trial and hardship, but we were promised that if we endured these we would be blessed with spiritual growth and refinement.
My husband expressed to me his desire to serve in the military. He told me he felt it was what the Lord wanted him to do and asked me for my support in it. I knew I wanted to marry him but wasn’t sure if I could take on the life the military would bring. Conflicted, I asked the Lord through prayer if marrying this man and supporting him in the military was the right thing for me. The answer did not come immediately.
A few weeks later I attended a formal Air Force dinner with him. As part of the dinner there was a ceremony to remember the fallen heroes that died serving our country. As I stood in silence next to my husband, who was dressed in his uniform, I was filled with an overwhelming feeling of love and peace that I was where I needed to be. I felt impressed that marrying this man and supporting his desire to serve the country was what the Lord wanted for me.
As the challenges and struggles of being an Air Force wife come, I remind myself that even though this is the plan I never thought would be mine, I have found through faith in the Lord that this is his plan for me. I wouldn’t have it any other way, for in it there is much joy to be had. Through those hardships I have learned and continue to learn to rely on the Lord and give my will to him. In return, He has blessed me immensely with comfort, peace, happiness, and a greater appreciation for the freedoms I have in this country. I have found purpose in this life when I strive to follow His plans and await what He has in store. It may not be an easy path, but whose life is? We are promised that although it isn’t easy, the blessings that come after are far greater than we could ever imagine.
This knowledge has made waiting on the military so much easier. I feel that even though I still have very little control, at least I have the knowledge that whatever is next is right for my family.
So whether I have to live in a hotel for a month, move three times in a year, repeatedly say goodbye to close friends, or endure the trials of having a deployed spouse, I know that I can endure it, because it is my plan, and the Lord doesn’t give us anything we aren’t capable of enduring.