Worst Case Scenario

Merrill sunshine

I try and look at the worst case scenario,so that when things turn out a little better, or even average, I’m happy. Look at the bright side, the old saying goes.

Example: You have to drive across town, so you imagine all the bad things that could possibly happen – a wreck, traffic jam, carjack, rude drivers, slow pedestrians, car breaks down, no insurance (you forgot to renew, or got cancelled), hail storm, tornado, earthquake, nuclear attack, asteroid hits earth in front of you as you are making a left turn, asteroid hits earth in front of you as you are making a right turn, and doesn’t yield right of way to you, too many gamma rays today, sun spins out of orbit, leaving earth all alone to freeze in the cold, cruel universe, or, conversely, sun gets too close to earth and consumes it.

Continuing with examples of things that can go wrong – there really are quite a few: Doctor calls you on cell during drive and tells you the disease is terminal, cop stops you for talking on cell while driving, and even though you tell him about terminal illness he writes you up anyway. You’re so distraught about the terminal illness that you don’t care and throw the ticket away as soon as the cop leaves, where it floats along the gutter and into a street drain, never to be seen again. Five minutes later the doctor calls back to tell you he called by mistake and you aren’t the one with the terminal disease (he meant to call a person with the same name as you, but a different middle initial – which makes sense now that you think about it, as you hadn’t been to the doctor’s office in years, and he wasn’t your doctor anyway), all of which causes you to exult and rejoice (except for a short moment of silence for that guy with the same name), and you get pulled over by another cop, and written up for talking on cell again, but you don’t care – you’re happy to be given a second chance in life, and you pay the second ticket, but forget about the first one and are eventually held in contempt of court – your car is impounded, and as you don’t have enough to pay the fine, you lose your driver’s license.

So when all of these worst case scenarios don’t happen, and you made it across town without incident, you really can smile and look on the bright side.

From A Memoir of Most of It

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