by Katie S.
My dear little ones,
With nursing school coming to a close (!!!!) there is plenty of cause for celebration! Party time! It is fitting then that I have been asked several times over the last few weeks if I will drink when school gets over. After all, it could just be a one night thing. Right? A couple of drinks. Laughs with friends. Hopefully only a mild hangover the next day. Good times! Only, I won’t. I could but I won’t. I’m writing this, my loves, because when asked recently I haven’t given an answer that makes me feel very proud. I responded in a way that I thought would be more “relatable” and cause the least discomfort for others. I went with the logical and more humorous reasons for abstaining (“I would get SO sick after all this time!” “I probably couldn’t hold my liquor anymore! I can’t even take NyQuil without feeling light-headed.” “I would get too crazy!”) rather than sharing the deeply personal beliefs I hold. Let’s be real. If I drank now, after all these years, I would be toe up from the flo’ up. 100%.
However, this is not why I choose not to drink or smoke or have sex. I hold myself to this high standard because I know with all of my heart that God wants what is best for us and that He knows better than I ever could what I need. Almost six years ago, my life changed forever when I chose to make covenants with our Heavenly Father and be baptized into my church. I CHOSE this. I decided that these values resonated with me and that I believed that I would be happier and healthier if I kept them. I have felt the blessings of keeping my covenants over and over again. I wanted to feel different, to live differently. I wanted to align my will with the will of God. I didn’t have to take on these covenants and I don’t have to keep them but I WANT to. There is no greater joy I have experienced than living in a way that makes me feel closer to God. Now, little ones, this will look different for everyone you meet and each will express themselves and their beliefs differently. That is what makes this world so beautiful-embrace this.
When I was baptized I knew it wasn’t a phase or something I would just do for a long time. I want to live and love this way FOREVER.
Let me be clear, I get tempted. Every. Day. All day. I am tempted to drink, to break the law of chastity, and to compromise my standards. Sometimes I come dangerously close to losing the fight in choosing the right. I like to hope the point is that I AM fighting in those moments and that I eventually find my way out. It would be easier (and sometimes way more fun!) to give in but I wasn’t born to surrender and I won’t raise you to be that way. I want you to know that no matter how difficult the challenges that we may face may be that we are NEVER alone. I KNOW this because I believe in a Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ who love us, understand us, and root for us even when we have given up on ourselves. And babies, I pray that you will be as encompassed about with incredible examples of spiritual strength as I am. God has blessed me with an army of amazing pillars that remind me of who and what I am fighting for.
So, if I don’t drink (or smoke or have sex) what exactly do I do for fun? Oh, that’s simple. Everything! I love and I laugh. I feel free. I make mistakes and I try to learn from them. I am not a perfect Mormon, woman, or human and I won’t be a perfect mother. I will, however, work my whole life to be better and to strengthen my relationship with my Savior. I also hope and dream and drink lots of chocolate milk. It’s yummy! I am happy and I believe you can be too but it won’t always be easy. Good thing I will always be here to hold your hand.
Goodbye for now, sweet babies.
All my love.
Taken from From My Heart to Yours
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