God, Where Are You?

By Russell D.

There comes a point in every person’s life when we ask ourselves, “Is there a God? Does he know me, and will He be there for me? My answers are “Yes, there is a God, He knows me by name; and He is there for me”.

Our first son came into our lives after nine years of waiting. We were told that it was medically impossible for us to have children. One day a thought came into my mind that my wife was pregnant, but I did not ask her, I just wrote this thought down in my daily diary. About a month later she told me that we were going to have our first baby, and to her shock, I told her I knew! Then I showed her the diary entry.

Our first son was born. Not long after we found that another child was to join our family. This child was born, but due to a rare genetic defect our son passed after just four days. So should we have any more children?

We thought long and hard and God let us know that this decision was correct. A third pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. Then another son was born. During the pregnancy we found out that this son had the same genetic defect and would only live a short time. We were devastated. We had asked God and He said we should have more children. First we waited for nine years before our first son was born, then our second was taken from us, then a miscarriage, and now our third son would be taken. So is there a God? Does he know me? And will he be there for me?

I determined to ask him why. My family had encountered such losses and in my heart I had some anger and lot of disappointment. After sincere prayer, I had the feeling that a wave of warm water was flowing over me from my feet to my head. It became clear that this was the pure love of God. It was then that our conversation started, by my expressions of anger and disappointment. Finally, after some time, I asked why? Why do this to both my wife and me? Why allow two of our sons to die? It was then that the words came, proof to me that He knew me, that there is a God. He said, “Because you are strong enough.”

That is how I know that God is there for me! He knows us by name and He is there for us. He let me know this and that all was going to be all right. He has kept His promise.

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