Real Life Answers

Possibly the only two clear days so far this year in Seattle happened to be on the weekend of my little brother’s wedding a week and a half ago.  Lucky guy. Even luckier that my new sister-in-law (who’s great) agreed to marry him. But luckiest of all that he was married by an authority and in a place where marriages do not have an expiration date at death, but can last forever. And any children that come into their family will likewise know them as father and mother forever.

The belief that family relationships can continue even after death sums up most of the fundamental doctrines of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (my friend Ashley also posted about this on this blog) First, it implies an afterlife. But not just any afterlife: an afterlife where it makes sense to even talk about things like husband and wife, parent and child. In other words, an afterlife that is essentially an extension of this one, where “that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy,” complete with a perfect physical resurrection of our flesh-and-bone bodies.

Our belief in forever families means we believe in a God who is our father in a very real sense, and on whose relationships with us we model our own family relationships. Our belief in forever families goes hand in hand with our belief that God authorizes his power (which we call the priesthood) to be used by men on earth, for these eternal marriages are still performed by men. Our belief in forever families also means  we believe God communicates with us today, because it is by relatively recent revelation to modern-day prophets that we even have this doctrine, and we certainly try to seek personal inspiration when deciding whom to marry (since the stakes are so high for us).

Finally, forming an eternal family involves making a covenant with God, or a solemn promise to live our lives according to his will, and the covenant we make at marriage just  happens to be the culminating one in a series of covenants that begin at baptism. We believe making and keeping these covenants is the key to living a happy and fulfilling life here on earth and to assuring we reach our potential in the life to come.

That about sums up what it is to be Mormon.

Witnessing my little brother forming his own family that will last forever, and spending time with my own brothers and sisters and parents (for the first time in way too long) while celebrating the occasion reinforced strongly how much I love them and value my relationship with them. Even more so, having flown back to Boston to rejoin my own wife and kids, I am grateful to know our family will endure beyond the grave.

So will I see my family after I die? I believe the answer is yes, but not only will I see them, but they will still be my family. That is pretty awesome.

Two months ago yesterday my father died of cancer.  After several months of complicated and debilitating treatment and years of decline, his passing was remarkably peaceful and painless. So, in some sense, it was a welcome event for our family. We were, of course, sobered by the finality of the event, but at 73, my father had lived a full life and we were relieved to see him released from his suffering. When this outlook also prevailed during his memorial services several days later, it provided an interesting opportunity for reflection on core Mormon doctrine. Doctrine that we believe provides “real life answers” to one of life’s most difficult questions: Where do we go when we die?

To the uninitiated observer my father’s funeral was casual, even celebratory. My best friend from High School travelled, at his insistence, all the way to the San Francisco Bay Area from LA to attend the service, apparently expecting some pageantry. His Middle-Eastern heritage also had him primed for a dramatic scene. But the contrast between expectation and reality was almost humorous to him: “During the eulogy I couldn’t remember whether I was attending a roast or a funeral!” I explained in reply that our unceremonious take on funerals was inextricably connected to our faith. Because of our knowledge of the plan that God has for us, we don’t get very worked up over old-age death. However, while our services may be void of pomp and circumstance, they are also fraught with meaning.

For many people the question, “where do we go when we die?” has more to do with state of being than location. “Where do we go” is of secondary importance to “what will it be like.” The focus of this post is the latter concept. We believe that we lived with our Heavenly Father before coming to earth and that after we die we will be reunited with our families, heavenly and earthly, in the hereafter. This belief is not necessarily unique to Mormons. Various surveys have shown that most of the country’s religious devout believe that they will be reunited with their loved ones after death, in spite of the fact that their religious creeds claim the contrary, declaring marriage to be only “until death do you part.” What is unique to Mormons with regards to this issue is the harmony between doctrine and belief, and the conviction in this belief.

Only Mormon doctrine provides the logic behind this nearly universal human yearning for reuniting. The key lies in the restoration of the sacred authority to seal in heaven that which is sealed on earth. We affirm that the keys the Savior promised to Peter, lost for centuries, have now been restored to the earth, allowing husbands and wives, brothers and sisters to partake of a fuller joy in the hereafter than could be experienced as lone, stolid individuals. Our family is still adjusting to our loss, but when I am tempted to despair I am buttressed by my mother’s unshakable faith in this principle.  Her certainty comes from a lifetime of refining our faith through sacrifice, obedience, and concerted effort to understand divine truths through personal revelation.