By Jennifer R.
It is difficult to understand the true nature of God at first. The human mind is made to think logically. We want visible and tangible proof in order to believe, and sometimes even that is not enough. We do not innately live with a spirit of faith, but in order to know God it is a requirement. My journey is one similar to that of the Prodigal Son, who left his father with his inheritance and spent it unwisely in the world. Lost, desperate, destitute and alone the foolish son knew that there was only one place for him to turn, the love of his father.
I was brought up with an understanding of God. However, as an adult I became disillusioned by the hardships of my life. I questioned how God could allow bad things to happen to me when I was living righteously. At that time I didn’t understand the true nature of God or his plan for me.
And so I stepped away from the light of God, and attempted to create a life of happiness on my own. The Lord continued to bless me with a wonderful husband, children, and opportunities. However on September 11, 2012 my life was changed when my 2 year old niece was killed in a tragic accident. My heart was broken. There was no solace to be found. I was overcome with grief and despair. I realized in this very dark time that I had two options; I could turn to God or choose the dark path. I took a step towards my Father and he welcomed me back to him by sending me a spirit of peace, love, and clarity.
I continued to draw closer to the Lord through prayer, scripture study, and by making changes in my personal life that were consistent with the commandments of the Lord. That was the difficult part. In order to be free from possible addictions I had to stop smoking, give up coffee, and stop drinking alcohol. It was a sacrifice, and it took a few months until I had completely resolved to stop. I truly had to depend on the Lord for his help because I couldn’t have done it on my own. Through these sacrifices, I experienced a mighty change of heart. For the first time in my life I understood the true nature of God. He is right there waiting for us to turn to Him. He hears and answers our prayers. He guides and inspires us to follow the path that He has chosen for our lives. He comforts us when we are sad, and He has given me a strength that I never knew was possible.
I have heard people say that religious people need God because they are weak on their own, and I would have to say that I agree with this statement. We all come to a “rock bottom” in our lives when we realize that all that we have could be gone tomorrow. Everything could be stripped away; your education, career, family, health, home, financial stability and all that remains is this longing question inside of you that asks “Does God really know and love me?”
The logical and concrete hypotheses of the world leave little room for spiritual matters. However, in the silence of a quiet room, when you push all doubt and fear away and are willing to dedicate yourself to something far greater than all worldly aspirations, God will speak to your heart. You will no longer doubt if He exists, if He loves you, and if He has a plan for your life. You will come to know the true Nature of our loving God. He is just waiting for you to come home.